Today is my dad's 75th birthday, and tomorrow is the 2nd Anniversary of his death. I know most people say it feels like yesterday, but to me, for some reason, it feels like an eternity. I think b/c the time of his death was such a blur to me, b/c I struggled silently so much during that time. I wanted to be strong for my mom. I wanted to get her through the first days and weeks after his death. I didn't deal w/a lot of my own feelings at that time, so I still struggle - 2 years later. At first, I couldn't talk about him w/o crying, and it got easier, but now - it's gotten harder again. Everyone deals with loss in different ways, and I think, I haven't fully dealt with it, b/c I surpassed it to be strong for my mom.
I bought a cake for his birthday b/c I never want my boys to forget. I want them to remember the wonderful, kind man that he was. They wanted to sing Happy Birthday, but I just couldn't. We spoke of a fond memory of him, and William talked about their secret eye brow language, that they shared. That's something he will never forget. He was so much like my dad in so many ways. My mom says she sees it too. My heart is sad that my boys lost their grandfather at such a young age for both of them.
Happy Birthday, daddy! We will love and miss you always!
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