A great read...

I have been having some issues with the boys since David left. Saturday and Sunday were especially bad for us. I was recommended a book by a friend - so when I got onto Amazon to order the book - I came across this book instead - my new favorite book "Have a new kid by Friday" by Kevin Leman. I got the book on Saturday and immediately started reading it. I wasn't real hopeful because I'm not a huge reader - ok, not at all - and the book is about an inch thick. I wanted results now so I read and read and read. The book is divided up by days of the week - Monday thru Friday. I think you are supposed to read Monday on one day, Tuesday the next, etc. Remember - I was desperate. I read the whole thing in 2 days. Truthfully - the book was only 1/2 inch thick. The other 1/2 was situations that come up - behaviors that your child may test you with, and it's great advice on his methods of how to handle those behaviors.

On Monday morning, Ben read the cover of the book and said to me 'this is not working.' I said 'I've only read a few pages Ben.' He said 'well, the few that you have read - they aren't working.' I'm like 'ok, smarty pants - you just wait.' On Monday, I started the methods that Dr. Leman speaks of. I got enough knowledge from what I had read to start using his ideas. His theory is 'say it once, turn your back, and walk away.' On Monday, I picked up the boys from VBS and I told them 'today we are going home for lunch and then we'll go to the gym to swim and then mommy's going to do an aerobics class and you guys are going in the childcare.' Ben said "i don't want to swim." I said "you don't have to. you can sit on a lounge chair or you can go in the childcare center. will and I will swim." So then a little later, Will starts misbehaving. I told Will 'I'm sorry but because you have shown me that you can't behave - I can't take you to the gym to swim. We'll go for mommy to workout and leave.' Ben said "i'm not going in the childcare - they'll call you out if I cry." I said "ben that's not fair to mommy. mommy needs to be healthy so I can take care of my boys." He said "i'm not going." I said "ok, that's your choice." I knew that in a few moments the door bell would ring b/c the neighbor kids had called and asked to play with Ben and Will. I answered the door and said "i'm sorry they can't play." I closed the door and walked away. They followed me, kicking and screaming - Ben screaming 'you hate me, you hate your own son.' I said "i'm sorry ben - but because you wouldn't allow me to do what I wanted to do, then i can't allow you to do what you want to do,' and i walked away. He followed "but you said we could play with them." I said "yes I did - but because you wouldn't let me go to the gym so I can be healthy - I can't allow you to play with your friends." He followed me kicking and screaming some more. I told him "I bet you wish you had made better choices. Hopefully next time you will think about this first." He came at me a little more and I just ignored him and walked away. He eventually gave up. Meanwhile - some of the other neighbors went over to play with the neighbors that we were supposed to play with. They even got to swim. My boys had to watch from our yard and it was pure and complete torture for them. After dinner and bath - just before bed - the boys came to me and said "mommy we are sorry for not letting you go to your class. it won't happen again, we promise. we love you." I thought I was going to fall out of my chair. They have never responded to me that way.

Dr. Leman has lots of other ideas in the book that are great - this book is definitely worth the money. Checking out books from your library is always great too - but I wanted this book as a reference - I'm definitely glad I spent the money for it. Now - when there's a behavior that I'm not sure about - I'll look in the book and get a little help from Dr. Leman. Anyone with children - should have this book. It's super great!